Ayn Rand Paul

Stephen: They were wearing Rand Paul shirts.
George: Are you sure they weren't Ayn Rand shirts?
James: What's the difference?
George: One of them has a penis. And the other is Rand Paul.

On the NFL Boycotts

I think he might be boycotting the NFL because of his concussions, not a concern for the players.

Dental Hygiene

Wizardly Interlocutor: Why am I putting foreign objects in my mouth? My dentist said, "No!"

Socio-Linguist George

George: In some language, the word for embarrassment and opportunity is the same.
James: It would be cool if you knew the language.
George: Yes. Yes, it would.

On Social Media

I'm gonna send it out to my legion of followers, which is 31 people, including 2 dentists... Neither of whom are my dentist.

On Early Morning Debate Tournament Structure

What. I can't be excited about an integer? For fuck's sake.

Joe Camel is the Egyptian Fonz.