On Fine Dining

I'm going to have to go Beast Mode on these ribs and steak.

Time-Space Continuum?

I was Irish eventually.

On Getting Back in Touch with People That You Miss

I am equally, if not more, happy that you are also not dead.

On Self-Inflicted Character Assassination

Palindromic Interlocuter: Goddammit, Google. Work better!
Taco Bell-eating Interlocuter: You should use Bing.
Palindromic Interlocutor: Bing sucks.
Fashionable Interlocutor: Hannah is very emphatic.
Palindromic Interlocutor: More like irrational. And rage-y.

The Virtues and Limitations of Advice

If women want to give me sex advice they should have sex with me first.

On Wheel of Fortune

Never underestimate the number of old people that still exist.

On George

Palindromic Interlocutor: I'll never be drunk enough to understand what you just said.