On Self-Inflicted Character Assassination

Palindromic Interlocuter: Goddammit, Google. Work better!
Taco Bell-eating Interlocuter: You should use Bing.
Palindromic Interlocutor: Bing sucks.
Fashionable Interlocutor: Hannah is very emphatic.
Palindromic Interlocutor: More like irrational. And rage-y.

On Breakdowns

Everything's going to be alright.

On Systems, Solar and Otherwise

That's really the only time I can run the patriarchy argument in my favor (as a white male)--against the sun.

On Opinions

Obviously it's not to your taste because I assume you have bad taste.

On Status Quo

That's like saying George stop being loud or George stop having great hair... it's not going to happen.

Guest Observation: On Telling it like it Is.

George: Actually, I find an early Teddy Roosevelt sexy.
Palindromic Interlocutor: George would want Teddy because he wants a lover who speaks softly and carries a big stick.

On Sexy Time

1: Just because you bang things doesn't make it sexual.

2: There's a correlation, a correlation I would like to have sex with.

Guest(s) Observation: On Lewd Co-mments

Palindromic Interlocutor: How do I make it bigger?
Ammoral Interlocutor: Touch it.
--Awkward pause--
PI: Stop looking at me!
AI: Actually, that would do it too.

On Patriotism

Americans are on a never ending quest for more jobs and lower taxes. Eventually what we really want is communism!

On Freedom

(Interlocutor who is a Democrat and in the Army)

That's not surprising, you can be a Democrat and love this country too.

Pot Calling the Kettle George

Interlocutor: "The first step is admitting you have a problem."

George: "No, the first step is to stop having the problem and annoying the crap out of all of us."