On Questionable Interjections

Fashionable Interlocutor: "Can you give me a minute? I'm still trying to recover from being wanged..."

Guest Observation: On Courtship

Rural Interlocutor: It's not your job to protect his teenage angst ridden heart... it's your job to fuck bitches and get money.

On Friendship

That's giving me carte blanche to demean you.

On Sexy Time

1: Just because you bang things doesn't make it sexual.

2: There's a correlation, a correlation I would like to have sex with.

Guest Observation: On Sexy Time

Guest Interlocutor: It's not like the clitoris has armor.

Country Music

George: "Willie Nelson scares me."

Fashionable Interlocutor: "Why?"

George: "Because he reminds me of that creepy uncle. You know the one I mean."

Meditations on a Debate Tournament

Theories of Translation:
1) "Nipun, I changed your name out of love... And imperialism."
2) "E pluribus unum": That's like an orgy, right?

Theories of a Winning Smile:
Stop giving him things.

Theories of Credibility and Rhetorical Adaptation:
Colonel Sanders has ethos when it comes to chicken, but I don't know about other debate topics.

On Dating

Getting invited up for coffee is great because even if everything goes wrong, there's still free coffee.

Pot Calling the Kettle George

Interlocutor: "The first step is admitting you have a problem."

George: "No, the first step is to stop having the problem and annoying the crap out of all of us."

Hittin' on the Ladies

Remember the cardinal rule: It's better to look like a pervert searching for a threesome than to look like a cheap fuck.