Over-Teaing It

George: "I'm hoping this Earl Grey will do the trick."

Definitive Interlocutor: "That isn't Earl Grey; it's black tea."

George: "Well. Whatever. I like it. Especially the black part."

(Pause)

George: "I wonder if I am over-teaing it."

On Vs for Vendetta

Oh, look! It's Hipster Politics... Fucking kill me, Wachowski brothers. Kill me in the face.

Time-Space Continuum?

I was Irish eventually.

Long-term Love

Enlightened Interlocutor: There's nothing like sloughing clumps of hair to keep a marriage rockin.

George: If a marriage is a-rockin... I'm not gonna finish the phrase.

On Academic Imagination

I feel like you've done a good job of balancing between analyzing things and... football.

On Getting Back in Touch with People That You Miss

I am equally, if not more, happy that you are also not dead.

On New Jersey

Why are you in New Jersey? Did New York exile you for fear of leading a possible revolution?

On Self-Inflicted Character Assassination

Palindromic Interlocuter: Goddammit, Google. Work better!
Taco Bell-eating Interlocuter: You should use Bing.
Palindromic Interlocutor: Bing sucks.
Fashionable Interlocutor: Hannah is very emphatic.
Palindromic Interlocutor: More like irrational. And rage-y.

On Ridiculous Conversations

George: Your computer needs to get Windows 7.
Palindromic Interlocutor: Your computer needs to suck my computer's dick.

(Pause)

George: So your computer is a man?
Palindromic Interlocutor: My computer can WANG your computer.

(Pause)

George: All this talk about wanging today is just making me uncomfortable.

On Questionable Interjections

Fashionable Interlocutor: "Can you give me a minute? I'm still trying to recover from being wanged..."

On Breakdowns

Everything's going to be alright.

On Erstwhile Friends

Storytelling Interlocutor: "That boy is a failed drama lookin for a place to happen."

On Expertise

Earnest (most likely former debater) Interlocuter: “The moral challenge for any epistemic conception of political authority is to let truth be the guide without illegitimately privileging the opinions of any putative experts.”

Fashionable Interlocuter: "Yeah. Good luck with that."

The Virtues and Limitations of Advice

If women want to give me sex advice they should have sex with me first.

Guest Observation: On Courtship

Rural Interlocutor: It's not your job to protect his teenage angst ridden heart... it's your job to fuck bitches and get money.

Friendship and Ethics

If you can't be friends with someone who markets tobacco products to 8 year old Asian children, then your standards are too high.

On Systems, Solar and Otherwise

That's really the only time I can run the patriarchy argument in my favor (as a white male)--against the sun.

On Opinions

Obviously it's not to your taste because I assume you have bad taste.

On History

What is with 1967? Why is everyone obsessed with that year?

On Perspective

Fashionable Interlocutor: Yes, Yes. But monsters kill things.

Mindful Participant: So do heroes.

On Wheel of Fortune

Never underestimate the number of old people that still exist.

On Status Quo

That's like saying George stop being loud or George stop having great hair... it's not going to happen.

On Friendship

That's giving me carte blanche to demean you.

On Canada

George: Is there a Tim Horton's in your town?
Palindromic Interlocutor: Yes.
George: Then you're from Canada.

Guest Observation: On Telling it like it Is.

George: Actually, I find an early Teddy Roosevelt sexy.
Palindromic Interlocutor: George would want Teddy because he wants a lover who speaks softly and carries a big stick.

On Sexy Time

1: Just because you bang things doesn't make it sexual.

2: There's a correlation, a correlation I would like to have sex with.

Guest(s) Observation: On Lewd Co-mments

Palindromic Interlocutor: How do I make it bigger?
Ammoral Interlocutor: Touch it.
--Awkward pause--
PI: Stop looking at me!
AI: Actually, that would do it too.

On Patriotism

Americans are on a never ending quest for more jobs and lower taxes. Eventually what we really want is communism!

Cajun Cooking

Fashionable Interlocutor: "I can get 150 lbs of live crawfish shipped to me for the low, low price of $643.50."

Delicious Platonist: "Gross and scary."

On George

Palindromic Interlocutor: I'll never be drunk enough to understand what you just said.

In Rhetoric Class

No. I'm just labeling it more derisively.

What is phronesis? It sounds like something House would diagnose.

Alec Baldwin's Resurrection

Delicious Platonist on Jack Donaghy: He's the Prince of Non-Committal Grunts.

Guest Observation: On Sexy Time

Guest Interlocutor: It's not like the clitoris has armor.

On Potent Potables

If I wanted to face reality I wouldn't be drunk.

Meditations on Ethos

Guest Interlocutor, after witnessing a friend's giddy reaction to some New York cowboys: "I need to get a horse. You don't need to know how to dance if you have a horse."

Country Music

George: "Willie Nelson scares me."

Fashionable Interlocutor: "Why?"

George: "Because he reminds me of that creepy uncle. You know the one I mean."

On Embodied Practice

Why is there an agon... Is it anything like Thunderdome?

On Logic

Maybe my words grounded it in truth.

On Drama

There aren't just problems in my life; there are varying degrees of crisis.

Baggage Claims

Because this blog is dedicated to painfully perceptive observations on the world around us, we feel free to include guest input from time to time. We are still, of course, with George.

Hannah: "I think luggage is inherently not-so-ninja."

Meditations on a Debate Tournament, Part Two

On the Differences between Worlds and US Policy Debate:
"It seems like we debate, but actually we live in some bizarre parallel universe."

Meditations on a Debate Tournament

Theories of Translation:
1) "Nipun, I changed your name out of love... And imperialism."
2) "E pluribus unum": That's like an orgy, right?

Theories of a Winning Smile:
Stop giving him things.

Theories of Credibility and Rhetorical Adaptation:
Colonel Sanders has ethos when it comes to chicken, but I don't know about other debate topics.

Peep Toes

George: I don't think I want to wear them.

Fashionable Interlocuter: Patent leather peep toes? You could totally rock them. They say "George."

George: No, they say "Back Pain."

On Nutrition

Soup is the future of the present.

On Freedom

(Interlocutor who is a Democrat and in the Army)

That's not surprising, you can be a Democrat and love this country too.

On Challenges (not so much On Math)

I'd say it's a catch-22 but it's 3 and a half times more annoying than that so I'm calling it a catch-77

On Dating

Getting invited up for coffee is great because even if everything goes wrong, there's still free coffee.

Email

George sighting? George devotee? George quotation?

imwithgeorge@gmail.com

Please direct all questions, comments, marriage proposals, goat bleatings here.

Pot Calling the Kettle George

Interlocutor: "The first step is admitting you have a problem."

George: "No, the first step is to stop having the problem and annoying the crap out of all of us."

On Witty Repartee

George: "Can you please stop saying vaguely insulting things about me in my presence?"

Interlocutor: "Would you rather I say directly insulting things about you in your presence?"

George: "Yes."

On Noverbal Negation

I will squint at you derisively.

On Politics

My hair is a polarizing issue.

Hittin' on the Ladies

Remember the cardinal rule: It's better to look like a pervert searching for a threesome than to look like a cheap fuck.

On Coffee

It's not an addiction if it makes you awesome.

I'm with George

This is a blog dedicated to the painfully perceptive commentary of our friend, George. We are going to catalogue his statements as we go because we think you ought to be privy to them, as well.

The first one is an oldie but a goodie:
"You summarily dismissed my arguments with the truth."